


Death's Pet (Peeve)

by 1PB2PB3PB4



Series: Master of Death Harry and (maybe not a) Douche Death [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humour, Master of Death Harry Potter, death hates fawkes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 15:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8378044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1PB2PB3PB4/pseuds/1PB2PB3PB4
Summary: He would not live in the same building as his enemy, and he doubted Pottter would let him kill it. He would have to figure out a plan, a dastardly plan. He liked the sound of that.
Harry adopts Fawkes the Phoenix, Death is not happy that Phoenixes regenerate.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is set sometime, a few months, after Amends, and Death and Harry have actually talked about things other than Death's behaviour. This was meant to be completely light hearted but Death is just too angsty.  
> I do not own Harry Potter  
> Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, please enjoy it.

However much Death was trying to make it up to Harry ther was one thing that he could not accept. Potter wanted to adopt Bladeblahbedore's (his name was too long) "pet". Death had spent centuries chasing after that confounded bird, with a net trying to snatch it up and _finally _carry it off to the other side. But just as he was about to the damn bird climbs out of its ashes squawking most unattractively and lives its life. Again. And dies. Again. He would not live in the same building as his enemy, and he doubted Pottter would let him kill it. He would have to figure out a plan, a dastardly plan. He liked the sound of that.__

__Death was aware he had what wizards would call " _issues _", largely because Harry had told him this, but this bird was not part of them. No, this was about being beaten at his own game. He was good at his job- he knew it! He never had any complaints, well, as long as you ignored the opinions of all the largely annoyed dead people he had catalouged; but all in all he coped just fine, no complaints from his superiors- not that he had any. They all left him the bast- Right, anyway, the bird. Where was he? Oh yes, he would not allow this _abomination _of a creature to continue to outwit him under his very nose. He would steal his master's cloak if that's what it would take to finally catalouge the damn thing nicely on the other side. And perhaps a nice little cell with terrible music playing into it softly to teach it a lesson._____ _

______Death cackled, then cleared his throat not wanting to sound like The Wicked Witch of the West, as he plotted his punishment for the bird. He wondered if making it watch the "Last Airbender" movie was too harsh; he shook his head, knowing the thing it would actually _like _the movie.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Sadly he didn't think hanging around excessively would do the trick this time. The bird seemed to stubborn to give up and he doubted his master woukd bring the bird into an enviroment where it was likely to die. He could hope though. He pondered for some time but it seemed the best and safest bet would be to wait for the bird to die, then pounce,cloaked in his lovely toasty cloak, and carry off the bird as it squawked. He didn't think Harry would take too kindly to Death murdering his pets._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When Harry returned later with the _creature _in tow, and some other objects Death assumed he'd salvaged, Death gave it a glare. The obstinate, arrogant bird merely blinked back at him and turned to Potter. Well then, if the bird wasn't quaking at his very prescence he would simply have to show it he was someone to be feared. And he was, his subordinates all quaked when he summoned them for a "little chat", or at least he thought they might if he had any. But it could also work in his favour. If the bird thought he was nothing to fear then it would be off guard and not expecting his, very cunning if he did say so himself, attack.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He treated it as what he thought was called an "operation", muggles and their TV shows, trying to smoke out the bird, literally he wanted to pounce as it burst into flames, but it wasn't showing signs of dying any time soon. This rather ruined his plan. Harry was getting suspicous, both as to why he was shirking work to stare at the little bird, and why the invisibilty cloak could never be found. Death would like to mention that he fully intended to return it, he just... Well, it reminded him of better times, and home, and he _liked _it.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He should probably have returned it though. The bird looked at him directly in the eye when he wore it, more than it did when he didn't really. And it was still showing no signs of croaking just yet. All in all his plan wasn't really going very well, as most of them seemed prone to doing. It was also harder than he thought, the phoenix was unsettling in the way it stared at him, like it knew his secrets. Death didn't like the idea of that much, but it hadn't spilt anything so maybe it didn't know. Or maybe the bird thing was alright- but he didn't say that you hear! He has morals and principles demanding he hate that bird._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He tried to ignore how the phoneix- and really who named it "Fawkes"?- seemed to cheer Harry up, it still needed to die right? Be ended, cataloged neatly, maybe not put in a cage after all, but still, taken to the other side. And Death really needed to think of a better name for the place where he worked, one that didn't want to make him start singing pop songs. Why would you think he knows the name of the artist?! But anyway. He still glared at Fawkes and gave him the evil eye, but it was starting to lack the heat. The phoenix always responded with a flick of its beak, before going back to staring at him intently, or rubbing his head on Harry's hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It looked nice having something to comfort you. Not a person, they had too many expectations, but a creature of some sort. Maybe he would ask Harry if he could get a Thestral. He always wanted to go riding in to a battle on horseback to collect the Deaths of the fatally wounded, not that he could collect their deaths' if their wounds weren't fatal anyway though. He decided not to, for now, he wasn't sure if he was in a position to ask Harry for anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________After a few months of this Harry confronted him.  
"Okay, I can't believe I'm actually asking you, Death, this but. you act like a child half the time so maybe you are." Harry took a deep breath, "Are you jealous of Fawkes?"  
Death tried not to react.  
"Cause if you are, just don't be. He's a pet, you're my responsibility as an employee, a very childish employee who I am strangely tolerant of all things considered. Anyway, he's not making me like you any less, I just want you guys to all get on. Okay? Please, I really don't need this."_ _

____________Death told Harry that he was _defintely _not jealous, at all, in any way of the birdy thing. Harry just tilted his head back and mouthed words at the sky that Death couldn't make out. As Harry turned to leave he opened his mouth, and this time adressed his words to Death.  
"Oh, and Death. If you want you can keep the cloak, just let me borrow it every so often yeah?" With that Harry strode out of the room, leaving Fawkes behind.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________"Why won't you just die already?" Death asked Fawkes frustratedly. In return he was given a hard look from the bird._  
"No, but really! It's not natural everyone has to die and you can't keep coming back."  
Fawkes raised an eye at this as if to say "can't I now?" To be fair though he may have had a point. Harry and Death himself certainly weren't dying, but they were creatures of death and... Oh. That made a lot more sense. If Fawkes wasn't dying because he couldn't die then that would explain why Death could never catch him. Death had always been more preoccupied with the more miserable creatures of death: Thestrals, Dementors, and himself; but he had never thought that maybe there were more. Death stared at Fawkes intently, and asked,  
"Did you know?" Death wasn't entirely sure what he meant, whether it was his plans, his feelings or his stories. But regardless when Fawkes gave a tiny nod, Death was sure Fawkes was answering to whichever one(s) that he had meant.  
"Oh, don't tell. Please."  
At that Fawkes gave a tiny grin as if to say "why would I?", before settling off to sleep. Death gave him one more hard stare before going off to find Harry. He wanted a pet of his own, he was going to go ask Harry if he could get a Thestral. 

________________________"You want to keep a partially invisible horse in a central London townhouse!!??"  
Death nodded starting to regret his request,  
Harry rolled his eyes, "sure, but you're tidiying up the droppings- and they better be nice to Fawkes"  
Death grinned, having a master wasn't turning out so bad after all._ _ _ _


End file.
